I'm Afraid You're Diagnosed With a Case of Love
by I Bought Earrings on Sale
Summary: Gary gets Petey to deliver a "heart-felt" letter to Jimmy. Talk of GaryxJimmy.


Gary folded his arms and looked thoughtfully out the window, his lips slightly pursed, almond eyes half-shut. "Hey, Pete, can you stop flaming for a second and come here? I have a favor to ask." It seemed as if that request took him forever to ask, considering he looked like he was thinking over all of his options thoroughly just seconds before.

Petey sighed. How he always got dragged into Gary's bullshit he didn't know. "Fine, Gary. What is it? I'm really busy so don't waste my time, Gary."

Gary frowned. "Don't pretend you have balls, Femme-Boy, I can waste however much time I want, bitch." And Gary knew it was true because Petey always gave him the time and the attention, just like his own obedient child who feared to displease anyone. Gary was proud, to say the least, to raise his own little pet.

Petey dug his hands into his pockets to keep from strangling Gary.

"I want you to give Jimmy-Boy this letter. If you read it I'll skull fuck you, ok?" Gary reached into his back pocket and pulled out an unsealed envelope with a piece of half-assedly folded paper hanging out of it. The pen Gary used bled through slightly in a dull and unpleasant blue.

Petey took it hesitantly. He wouldn't read it. It's not like it was his business to know what was going on with Gary and Jimmy, not that he already didn't know. It was painfully obvious. Every time he was there when Gary and Jimmy simply exchanged words he noticed a sort of fire burn in them both and caught some inside jokes that he was never a part of. Not to mention all the touching. Nothing too erotic, just a gentle touch to the shoulder, or grabbing of the wrist, or the time Gary wiped off the cookie crumb on Jimmy's face with his own fingers, and if there was one thing Petey knew, that was a nice thing to do...and Gary wasn't nice...by _any_ means. As far as Petey knew, at least.

"You have art with him next, right? So just give it to him then. I'll be pissed if you don't, Pete." Gary leaned his back into the armrest of the sofa, his feet dangling off the opposite end. Obviously Gary had no intention to go to class, and Petey certainly wasn't surprised that the dick was skipping. "It's important that the moron gets it."

"Alright, Gary. I understand. Do you want me to get you your slippers, too? How about your tea? And do you want me to chew your food for you also? Doing this slave shit for you seems to be all I'm good for, after all!" Petey shoved the letter into his back pocket and stormed off angrily. He was going to read the letter just to piss Gary off.

"Damn, what a fucking girl," Gary chuckled as he flipped through the channels on the television situated in front of him. He was glad he snagged Jimmy, who was nowhere near as needy or attached.

All the meanwhile, Petey was sitting outside his art class comfortably, knowing that he was 10 minutes early and he'd have to wait for Ms. Phillips to unlock the door. He plopped down in front of a row of lockers and pulled the pathetically folded piece of paper out of the envelop. He checked left and right to make sure no one was there, and carefully unfolded it to make sure he didn't mess anything up. Gary would skewer him alive if he left any traces that he read the letter.

_Yo, Jimmy-boy._

Petey was surprised how neat Gary's handwriting was compared to his folding skills.

_I heard all that bullshit between you and that pound cake-obsessed jock. I'm pissed. Not at you, but at Kirby. What a fucking joke! I can't understand how a guy who shares the same name as a gay pink puff ball could give you goddamn bruises on your back like those! Don't worry, though, I know you already got back at him, but I have my own revenge set up, after all, you're my puppet, right? My puppet, not his, and definitely not anyone else's._

Petey didn't hear anything about Kirby giving Jimmy bad bruises. He felt hurt that Jimmy didn't tell him anything, but he noticed as he and Gary were spending more time together Petey became more distant with Jimmy. It was just how things worked.

_Anyway, I decided against delivering this in person because that's too gay, and if Petey did it it wouldn't matter because he's already as gay as gay could get. Not as if we're not getting there. I'm telling you, this whole damn school is sucking cock._

Petey was bisexual. Gary knew that fully. He didn't understand how Gary couldn't plainly grasp that and just label him gay. It was annoying. But he did agree that most of the school had its own interactions with the same sex, after all, he heard about Parker catching Derby and Johnny fucking. Although it spread around the whole school quickly, people realized that messing with their leaders could cause a lot of bullshit, so people were all hush-hush. And he wasn't even going to get started about the whole Pinky and Lola incident.

_Anyway, this is going to sound really fucking dumb, but I'm kidnapping you to a movie, force-feeding you at a local restaurant, and am raping you at my place. Yes, I want to go on a date, but that sounds so gay. I like my way of saying it better. Also, let's throw getting drunk in there. I prefer to not remembering how retarded you are._

Petey gagged. He couldn't imagine Gary and Jimmy getting romantic. It was creepy and seemed like a cute little easter bunny and Satan in a three-legged race.

_It's not an option. If you say no, I really will kidnap you. I know you get some sore of sick pleasure from this so, I WUVS U THE MOSTEST. God, if you tell anyone I wrote that, I'm chopping your fingers off and will stick them in your ass, and will continue to violently ass rape you._

Petey couldn't read anymore without puking. He silently re-folded the letter and placed it into the envelop, letting it hang out just like it did earlier. Luckily, he chose to put it away at a great fucking time because Jimmy appeared behind him moments later just to scare the living shit out of him.

"Jeez, Petey, you're really pale? What happened?" Jimmy asked. Petey was glad Jimmy at least held some concern for him, unlike Gary who'd just call him a pussy and laugh in his face.

"Oh...uh, nothing. Oh, and Gary told me to give you this." Petey handed Jimmy the envelop, gulping audibly. He was slightly anxious to see Jimmy's reaction to the letter. How would Jimmy react to Gary's "loving" words?

Jimmy took it and smirked. "I know you read it."

Petey cleared his throat. "S-sorry...but I kind of knew you two were already something. Just don't tell Gary I read it, ok? He'll murder me!"

Jimmy sighed. "I think he expected you to read it in the first place just to get you flustered. You know he's a sick fuck. I really hate him, you have no idea. But the more I hate him the more I need him to treat me like shit. I guess I'm a masochist?"

Petey shrugged. "I guess you are," The thought made him uncomfortable. Was it jealousy? Perhaps it was, but even so, whether he was jealous of Jimmy or Gary, he knew he had to support his friends. He was a good friend, after all. "Or maybe you really have feelings for Gary?"

Jimmy sighed bemusedly. "That's a thought. Romantic feelings for the least romantic guy on Earth, huh? Maybe I'll tell him I love him while I knock his head against a glass window multiple times till he's unconscious?"

Petey grinned sympathetically. He knew the idea of Jimmy being in love with someone, let alone Gary, was somewhat overwhelming to Jimmy, especially said in words as blunt as his. "Tell me when you knock him unconscious so I can kick him in the nuts."

Jimmy put a hand atop Petey's head and rubbed it like he would a puppy. "Will do, Pete, will do."

They laughed quietly. At least Jimmy knew who he possible loved. Petey could never decide whether he liked Jimmy or Gary more. He was almost jealous. Was it selfish to want both?


End file.
